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  • Writer's pictureSimsy Marie

5 Lessons My Toddler Has Taught Me

Updated: Aug 29, 2021



The main benefit of being a SAHM (stay at home mum) is rediscovering the world through Alba’s eyes. She is so full of personality and joy, that the world is suddenly an exciting place to be with so much to do and see. All the baby blogs I read, always talk about how parents can improve toddlers’ development and social skills, but what I’ve noticed is that there is a lot we can learn from them too.


Here are the 5 main lessons Alba has taught me:


1. Greet myself with a smile

Alba loves to look at herself in the mirror. She always greets her reflection with a smile, then she tells it “Hi” then she kisses it, blushes, kisses it again, smiles, dances, laughs. She loves that baby in the mirror. I often ask her “where’s Alba?” and she smiles and points to the mirror.

Recently, I saw Alba watching me intently as I kneeled in front the mirror with a tweezers in my hand yanking out grey hairs from the right side of my head. I was wincing with every pull, and sighing in frustration at the sight of another one. It suddenly occurred to me that instead of seeing her mummy also smiling at her reflection, she was seeing me scrutinising my imperfections. I stopped at once and smiled and waved to myself instead. This delighted Alba who burst into peals of laughter.

Now I try to smile at myself in the mirror every morning. I haven’t noticed any difference in my day-to-day emotions since starting this, and I have since subscribed for hair dye to be delivered monthly, but I’m convinced something positive must be happening in my brain every time I smile at my reflection.


2. Dance to my own music

Alba somehow learned to dance. I’m not sure where she learned it or when, just one evening Hasani and I noticed that whenever she heard the word “dance” she got up and did a stomping paso doble on the floor and laughed.

Most toddlers bounce and sway to dance. Alba stomps quickly, moves her hands intricately, and twirls in a circle. Picture samba, mixed with tap dancing, with a flamenco flare. And if her dancing style isn’t unique enough, the fact that she does it whether or not there is music, certainly is. It’s her own little pick me upper. If she is delighted with something, she dances. If you want to comb her hair, she dances hoping you forget you want to comb her hair. If she just feels like life would be better if she danced in this very moment, she bursts into her paso doble steps and then ends by giving herself a round of applause and laughing.

Life really is more fun when you’re dancing. So, this week, much to Hasani’s amusement, I signed up to do a 10 week ballet course to add a bit more dance and spontaneity into my own life.


3. Don’t be afraid to say “no” and say it as forcefully or as loudly as needed.

“No” is Alba’s favourite word and she’s not afraid to use it.

“Alba do you want breakfast?” No.

“Alba come let mummy brush your hair” No.

“Alba come sit down let’s sing with the other babies” No.

Sometimes this “no” is quiet but firm, sometimes it’s a loud shout with her head flung back and her arms outstretched beseeching the heavens above to help free her from getting her teeth brushed. But you always know when Alba does not want to do something.

I wouldn’t say I’m a push over, but there have been times when I would have preferred not to do something but did it anyway because I couldn’t bring myself to just say “no”. Alba reminds me daily that it’s good to be assertive.


4. Greet each day with a clap

The first thing Alba does when she wakes up is give herself a round of applause. I don’t know if she’s proud of herself for resisting my efforts to make her sleep longer, happy to start a new day of mischief, or trying to get my attention, but as she opens her eyes, she sits up and claps looking around to see if anyone else is clapping with her.

I’m also more of an early morning bird than a night owl…but not a songbird that wakes up with sunlight, more like a common fowl that starts crowing at 4am. So, waking up has never been an issue for me, but I can definitely learn to greet the day with more gusto like Alba.


5. Smile at people and tell them “hi”

Alba is Miss Congeniality in our neighbourhood. She smiles and tells everyone “Hi.” She even sometimes offers pieces of grass or a flower from a weed she uprooted. I have seen her melt even the sourest, grumpiest of faces into smiles. Older people are always so happy to stop and chat with her for a few minutes, and don’t seem to mind at all that all she can do is repeat “hi” and show them her hands. Alba is very proud of her hands. In her defence, they are very pretty hands.

It doesn’t hurt to greet people or to give a smile or nod, and most times, especially now after long periods of isolation, people are happy for human connection, even if it lasts just a second. I don’t melt hearts like Miss Alba, but I’ve had a few nice conversations with older ladies in the parks and library since adopting the Alba Greet and Treat method.


As adults we can sometimes get very grumpy and cynical with life, we lose our freshness and become mouldy and hard like stale bread. It’s good to remind ourselves of our inner child and approach life like the exciting adventure it can be.

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